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HOW TO OBTAIN TRUE CONTENTMENT PART #1
THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE MARRIAGE
UNDERSTANDING GOD'S SEXUAL REALITY
DIVORCE REMARRIAGE AND BEYOUND
BORN THIS WAY??? MY STORY OF DELIVERANCE
VIOLENT FAITH
PROSPERITY --WHEN THE DREAM FAILS
When God gives up part one
THE MIND A JOURNEY TO SELF UNDERSTANDING
When God Gives Up part two
THE MARK OF THE BEAST?? LGBT?? IT THIS A TEST??
SAME SEX MARRIAGE
OVERCOMING-LOVE, SEX, AND ROMANCE ADDICTION
YOUNG AND COPING, in the days of youth
THE KINGDOM
Divorce Remarriage And Beyond Part 2
THE #1 PROBLEM NO FEAR OF GOD
BEING A SOUL SURVIVOR #2
PART #2 THE MIND A JOURNEY MY STORY
REMEMBER GOD IN THE DAZE OF YOUTH
MARRIAGE-THINGS TO CONSIDER AFTER
Totally Ill Prepared
#2 LGBT A CIVIL RIGHT OR A MORAL WRONG
WHERE ARE THE REAL MEN
LOVING GOD FIRST, LOVING OTHERS,  GETTING A RIGHT BALANCE
TRUE DELIVERANCE IN THE CRITICAL AREAS
HUMAN--SEXUALITY
LGBT A STUNNING SUCCESS STORY ..OR IS IT??
THE LGBT AGENDA
ARE PEOPLE BORN GAY
LGBT??  TABLE OF CONTENT
THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE MARRIAGE
THINGS TO CONSIDER AFTER MARRIAGE
THE SALVATION CONSPIRACY
THE MIND A JOURNEY TO SELF UNDERSTANDING
THE LGBT LIFESTYLE,  THE PROPHETICAL SIGNIFICANCE
HOW TO OBTAIN TRUE CONTENTMENT #2

When God first instituted marriage, He did so with certain goals in mind for the man and woman He created.  These were positive goals which were intended to bestow upon Adam and Eve companionship and fulfillment.  Today many marriages have fallen woefully short of what God intended.  There are two components in regards to marriage.  One components, has to do with the state of marriage, (the fact you are married).   The other aspect has to do with the conduct within the state of marriage.  Many couples who make this initial step, of entering into the state of marriage, often do so without giving much serious thought, concerning the second aspects of marriage, which is ones, conduct. God considers both the vow to enter the state of marriage and the vow to conduct, ones self properly to be equally binding. 

Today more and more people are seeking to obtain companionship, emotional and sexual fulfillment in ways outside of God's guidelines.  Thus the very institution of marriage itself is under attack.  Leading the charge is man's insatiable appetite for and pursuit of sexual involvement of every kind and description. Dr. David Allen tells us, " In order for a society which is quickly falling away from the most basic institution, the rightness of a committed marital bond, to justify it's fall, the institution of marriage must be dismantled.  This militant anti-Christian attack on marriage, as ordained by God,  has infiltrated every sphere and stratum of our society. It is attacked by comedians, soap operas, and by modern militant feminism which seeks to rid itself of every maternal and wifely instinct.

Marriage is under attack by those who consider it to be an antiquated piece of Victoriana which can now be dispensed with by our more enlightened and liberated age. Contrary to the negative views some may have of marriage, The Bible tells us that marriage was not an invention of man. God instituted marriage.  When men and women refuse to conduct themselves in marriage as God would have, them to,  this can lead to many problems.   The key to a mutually positive marital experience is closely linked to proper conduct on the part of both parties.

Experts in the field tells us, that for those couples who seek counseling in regards to their marital circumstances, there are certain reoccurring situational themes. Jay Slupesky, A well established marriage councilor and family therapist was asked the following question.  What are some of the most common problems that motivate couples to attend marriage counseling?  We will paraphrase his answers, with some of our observations. 

 

An Affair. One spouse has been caught or has admitted to cheating. This is devastating, of course, and sometimes ends the marriage.  Sometimes the affair which caused stressed on the marriage was not sexual in nature, but rather it was an emotional affair. But some couples want to work through it, and so they come to counseling.

 

Money Issues.  Numerous studies have shown that money is the No. 1 reason why couples argue ? and many of the recently divorced say those battles were the main reason why they untied the knot.

 

Blended family issues. This occurs most often when one of the spouses has been married before and has kids from that marriage. If the kids are at least near teens or teens, there can be trouble between them and the stepparent which then becomes trouble in the marriage.

Porn addiction. This is becoming a bigger issue due to the easy availability of pornography on the Internet. This addiction is having a devastating affect on many marriage. They sometimes can hide it for a while, but eventually the problem surfaces.

 

Stage-of-life crisis.  I see this more often in women than in men, believe it or not. The most common case is that of a woman who was a stay-at-home mom but who has something of an identity crisis when the youngest child leaves home. She frequently makes some significant life changes at this point and may re-evaluate whether or not she wants to stay married.

 

Communication problems. Many couples don't know how to express their feelings to each other in a healthy way.   Others don't see the necessity to communicate. At one extreme, they may argue constantly. At the other extreme, both people keep their feelings to themselves. Neither option is good.                                                                                      

 

HOW IMPORTANT IS OUR CONDUCT AFTER MARRIAGE??

CLICK ON THE NEXT TAB TO ADVANCE SLIDES BELOW

SOME SAY THAT THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE ITSELF, IS MORE IMPORTANT, THAN CONDUCT WITHIN MARRIAGE.  Some ministries downplay the importance of proper conduct within the bonds of marriage.  They say that the most significant aspect of marriage stems from the fact that a man and women have entered into the state of marriage in the sight of God. They say that the moment this happens, a couple is bond for life, regardless of the conduct which follows.  One minister, who appears to support this belief,  David J. Engelsma says the following.   "Marriage is a lifelong, unbreakable bond established by God the Creator between one man and one woman.

As to how the people of God are to regard marriage, and their life in it, marriage is a calling. It is not intended primarily for the pleasure of, the, comfort, happiness, and fulfillment, of the husband and wife. Marriage is intended for the glory of God. Believing men and women are privileged and commanded to serve God in married life. Their happiness and fulfillment are secondary. The only happiness and fulfillment that are of real importance are the happiness and fulfillment that believers have from serving God acceptably in marriage. This happiness and fulfillment they can-and must-have, regardless of their happiness, or lack of it, with their marriage companion.

When a believer regards his or her marriage as a divine calling, the earthly circumstances of the marriage are of no ultimate importance, whether her husband is a good man or a fool like Nabal (a wicked man named in the Bible); whether his wife is a lovely woman or a shrew; whether the marriage is a delightsome life that is ended all too quickly, or a burden heavy to be borne until God finally grants relief in death. The circumstances {ones conduct} of marriage are unimportant."   

I am sure that David means well, but contrary to his view,  It is ones CONDUCT in marriage which most determines the outcome of the relationship. The Bible clearly shows that improper conduct within the bonds of marriage, (desertion,  various types of sexual misconduct, etc) can be devastating. Those who downplay the significance ones destructive conduct, can have on determining whether or not the marriage thrives or even survives, are clearly not reading what God has said in his word.

Many a person has lamented the fact that the person they thought they married, was not really the person they married. Sad to say some people do hide a dark side, prior to getting marriage, with the fog of deception quickly dissipating after the "I do's" are said.  Most people do tend to put on their best face while courting.  It's just natural to do so. Sadly the image many portray of themselves before marriage is often a far cry from how they really are. 

The problem becomes a serious problem when the person we choose to marry is hiding a side of themselves which, has a drug/alcohol problem,  or is emotionally unstable. These is in some an abusive, violent, side, and for others they have hidden negative sexual habits.  Others have a domineering, vindictive,  or dishonest, side, which may not show up until after the wedding.   

Oftentimes when we are caught up in the excitement of courtship, and the wedding, these negative personality traits and habits, are often hidden and camouflaged.  In the words of one writer "Weddings are joyous affairs. When those time-honored vows are exchanged, most participants and guests tend to go brain dead and for that moment believe that the marriage they are witnessing will be happily ever after.

All the world loves a lover, and we feel wonderful to be caught up in love's romantic ideal. Few of us consider that we, or someone we care about, will end up being one more divorce statistic. In our hearts, we root to beat the odds. We want winners. We know the grave statistics on divorce". We know that a successful marriage is hard to come by, and many people flip after they get married.   But at that special moment we don't believe in anything but eternal happiness (what we see is what we get). But, the dark side of marriage does exist, people don't always present themselves as they really are (or even close to how they really are).        

For many couples, reality dawns on them after the honeymoon is over and they start living together.  It is then that couples began to notice things about each other, they may have initially overlooked, or not realized about their spouse.  Unmentioned monetary problems, may show up,  a quick temper begins to manifest itself,  constant nagging and complaining, shows up,   hidden drug and alcohol problems, began to materialize, physical and verbal abuse, rears its ugly head, unknown past relationships, began to intrusively show up and affect the marriage.  A once up close, honest and open person (prior to marriage) now demands their space and privacy, refusing to divulge much information concerning there actions and whereabouts.  Many husbands and wives find out only after they have gotten married, that they have married someone with a Dr Jekyll, and Mr. Hyde spirit

AFTER MARRIAGE BECOMING ONE IN PURPOSE--CLICK ON THE NEXT TAB TO ADVANCE SLIDES             

BECOMING ONE IN PURPOSE--When it comes to the modes of conduct it takes to insure a good marital relationship, we could have added many other items.    We could have mentioned things such as trust, positive communication,  mutually giving of ones self sexually, just to name a few.   But if  a man and women are willing to love, respect, and support each other, all these other things will follow.  

Dr. John Senyonyi tells us, "Genesis 2:24 is probably the most important Bible verse on the subject of marriage - it sets forth for us the Blueprint for Marriage.   24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2:24.   When two people are married there is a life they must leave, and there is a new relationship they enter: which, compared to all other human relationships there is no equal. If this does not happen the marriage must of necessity be a sick or dysfunctional marriage.

Let us then try to briefly expound on God's blueprint in this verse. First of all, A Man shall "Leave." This is not the same as forsaking to become an isolated couple without family support. It is not a change of geographical location either, but a radical change in the relationship with the Parents (this should be read to mean all other human relationships) so much so that this marriage relationship becomes the priority human relationship for the two. It is normally symbolized in a public event (called a wedding) which proclaims the ?leaving', and a legal instrument is issued to that effect.  There can be no marriage without leaving. The two "shall Cleave". Cleaving is predicated on leaving. It gives joy, continuity and permanence to the marital bond. Cleaving is more than mere feelings or the physical (animal) instincts. It must be cultivated through healthy and consistent communication.

Many marriages stumble on clogged communication channels. Actually trust (and therefore cleavage) increases with openness. Marriage needs commitment/faithfulness to one another. Cleaving does not  fall in' and out of love' - it is what some have called stick-ability'! It is the friendship factor; when the two cultivate an intimate, personal and exclusive unity. "   

The two "shall become One Flesh." This goes beyond a sexual union, and calls for a oneness in purpose.   This oneness in purpose calls for each spouse to treat the other, the way they want to be treated.  As Paul tells us,  28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:  Ephe 5:28-29.   When couples  express love, respect and support, to each other in the same manner they desire to receive it, a blessed union will always follow.

THE ENJOYMENT OF TOGETHERNESS--- Long after our bodies have by virtue of age undergone dramatic changes,  loss of hair, gaining the pounds, etc: couple who have learned to love, respect and support each other, still have a vibrant relationship.  According to author Reb Bradley "A study of marriage in history reveals that long-lasting marriages are generally those which are more "role" oriented than "romance" oriented. "couples who marry with a clear understanding of their biblical roles, and have as their primary purpose to carry them out, are generally happier in marriage than those who marry in order to simply get their needs met. 

Considering that 20th century America places such emphasis on building marriages on the right "physical and sexual chemistry." It should be no surprise that many in marriage are easily disappointed in their marriages. It is when a couple understands their biblically assigned roles in marriage, and mutually seek to fulfill their assigned roles, by way of CONDUCT,  that a marriage reaches it's highest potential for harmony and success. A successful marriage is much more than physical and sexual chemistry. Long after the initial thrill of the first sexual encounters has passed, and physical beauty begins to fade: the love which is mutually expressed via, positive CONDUCT, ie,   LOVE, RESPECT AND SUPPORT,  still makes the marriage, a loving, living and vibrant entity. 

THE ENJOYMENT OF TOGETHERNESS--- Long after our bodies have by virtue of age undergone dramatic changes,  loss of hair, gaining the pounds, etc: couple who have learned to love, respect and support each other, still have a vibrant relationship.  According to author Reb Bradley "A study of marriage in history reveals that long-lasting marriages are generally those which are more "role" oriented than "romance" oriented. "couples who marry with a clear understanding of their biblical roles, and have as their primary purpose to carry them out, are generally happier in marriage than those who marry in order to simply get their needs met. 

Considering that 20th century America places such emphasis on building marriages on the right "physical and sexual chemistry." It should be no surprise that many in marriage are easily disappointed in their marriages. It is when a couple understands their biblically assigned roles in marriage, and mutually seek to fulfill their assigned roles, by way of CONDUCT,  that a marriage reaches it's highest potential for harmony and success. A successful marriage is much more than physical and sexual chemistry. Long after the initial thrill of the first sexual encounters has passed, and physical beauty begins to fade: the love which is mutually expressed via, positive CONDUCT, ie,   LOVE, RESPECT AND SUPPORT,  still makes the marriage, a loving, living and vibrant entity. 

THE ENJOYMENT OF TOGETHERNESS--- Long after our bodies have by virtue of age undergone dramatic changes,  loss of hair, gaining the pounds, etc: couple who have learned to love, respect and support each other, still have a vibrant relationship.  According to author Reb Bradley "A study of marriage in history reveals that long-lasting marriages are generally those which are more "role" oriented than "romance" oriented. "couples who marry with a clear understanding of their biblical roles, and have as their primary purpose to carry them out, are generally happier in marriage than those who marry in order to simply get their needs met. 

Considering that 20th century America places such emphasis on building marriages on the right "physical and sexual chemistry." It should be no surprise that many in marriage are easily disappointed in their marriages. It is when a couple understands their biblically assigned roles in marriage, and mutually seek to fulfill their assigned roles, by way of CONDUCT,  that a marriage reaches it's highest potential for harmony and success. A successful marriage is much more than physical and sexual chemistry. Long after the initial thrill of the first sexual encounters has passed, and physical beauty begins to fade: the love which is mutually expressed via, positive CONDUCT, ie,   LOVE, RESPECT AND SUPPORT,  still makes the marriage, a loving, living and vibrant entity. 

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