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YOUNG AND COPING --PART TWO
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COPING WITH PEER PRESSURE
This is part two of our study, from our book "COPING WITH LIFE WHILE YOUNG" please click on book title to read part one. From the cradle to the grave, we are all under pressure in varying degrees to conform ourselves to the way our society says we should be. Those who are young often find themselves under a tremendous amount of pressure, to give in to the things their peers deem as being important. We call the pressure exerted on us by our peers, PEER PRESSURE. One of the greatest hindrances to young people giving heed to sound advice, and operating in wisdom, is peer pressure. Peer pressure----- is the pressure to comply and conform to the ideology, code of conduct, and value system of others. There are many different ways we can respond to this pressure, and there are many different ways this peer pressure can affect us mentally. Peer pressure is felt most intensely when we are young and most impressionable. Peer pressure invades every aspect of our lives, seeking to mold and shape our mindset and attitudes to its specifications. This pressure come at young people from every direction, music, TV, movies, and their peers. In order for us to cope with life as God would have us to, calls for MATURITY.
Most young people look forward to the day when they can leave their parents or guardian house and strike out on their own, so do most parents, (smile). If you have not yet moved out on your own, you no doubt look forward to the time when you will be able to. There often a lot of time spent daydreaming about the freedom of having ones own house, car, and being able to stay out as late as one wants, etc. It is also God's will, that you one day be on our own and live a positive and productive life. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2:24. You should keep in mind that freedom comes with responsibilities, which calls for maturity. This process is what God expects, parents to prepare their children for. Maturity is a universal value, something all desire because of the image it expresses: "I'm mature, I'm independent, I know how to think for myself." But being considered mature and being mature are not identical. Once again we find that freedom not only doesn't exist without responsibility... it hinges on it. It is God's will that we reach a mature level, in every area of our life, but in order to so this, e need a right relationship with him. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1st Cor 13:11. |
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Youth is a time when our desires and carnal lusts strike the strongest and we have the least amount of experience in dealing with them. The hormones flowing through our body causes our emotions to fluctuate between extremes. This is a time when we have new functions that we are just beginning to learn how to deal with. There are new desires that you are now aware of, but you are still learning how to deal with them. All these factors combined, can and often do lead to many potentially dangerous and hurtful circumstances and situations. Many who are young have followed their desires, feelings, and opinions, to the point of their own hurt. In some cases to they went to an early grave, because they lacked, knowledge, and wisdom, which comes through experience, and giving heed to sound council. Solomon tells the tragic story of a young man who had feelings and desires, but lacked understanding. This young man was enticed into a sinful situation, without realizing, that the price he would pay for this encounter was his life. 7And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, 8Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, 10And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. 13So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him, 18Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. 22He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; 23Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life. Prov 7:7-23. For many young people, youth is the first half of their life which they spend, to make the second half of their life miserable. |
THE IMPACT OF RAP ON YOUNG PEOPLE
| The rise of the popularity of certain music and videos, has in the minds of many young men, greatly influenced the level of disrespect toward women, we see being acted out today. Many of these lyrics have embolden many young people to publicly display disrespect toward the most basic of moral guidelines, for our society. Not only this, but we are seeing a degrading of women with language and conduct, in ways which had never before been seen over the public airways. One of the main forms of music which is leading the charge, when it comes to disrespecting women depicting them in a negative way, is certain forms of rap music. This is not to say that all rap music degrades women, but that which gets the most air time does. All one has to do is pull up besides a car where all this vulgarity, disrespect and profanity, is booming over the car sound system, to realize, this has never been done publicly on such a scale. Thus as Paul said, they would be "Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents", Rom 1:30. One expert put it this way "The formula for a hit rap record is simple: fancy yourself a thug, pimp, prison inmate, or gangster; disrespect society in general, show little if any respect for family values (marriage, commitment, responsibility). When it comes to women denigrate them in every conceivable way (using the H and B word) , glorify sex outside of marriage, drugs and alcohol, brag about violence and Portray all day and all night partying as being the norm, rhyme about jewelry, clothing, while flashing your shiny rims. Imply that you can have all the bling, bling, without the benefit on a meaningful job of education. Much of the music and many videos specifically transmit, promote, and perpetuate negative attitudes toward most of the basic guideline, God set up for the home and family. Women are portrayed as mindless gyrating, half naked bikini clad, dumb sex objects. Many of the music videos, which regularly run today shows many dancing women (usually surrounding one or two men) wearing not much more than bikinis, with the cameras focusing on their body parts. These images are shown to go along with a lot of the explicit lyrics that commonly contain name calling to suggest that women are not worth anything more than a few dollars. This is not the only media outlet which does this, many movies and TV shows promote the same things ( money, sex, material possessions, sex, alcohol, sex). Women are described as being only good for sexual relations by rappers who describe their life as being that of a pimp. In many popular rap songs men glorify the life of thug and pimps, they refer to all women as they think a pimp would to a prostitute. Violence against women for 'disobeying, is promoted as the way to keep women in line. Sad to say all this name calling disrespects, dehumanizes, and dishonors women. Once young men began to accept these degrading terms, concerning women, they then feel justified in committing physical or psychological violence against them. In many cases, those who spout out these degrading names, really do have a low view of women, thus more that a song these action reflect a feeling the anger, disdain, and ill feelings toward women. Some men believe that slapping a woman is "keeping it real", because of how a lot of rappers act. A lot of rap encourages women not to think, not educate themselves, not to put Gods word above their man's word, to not love themselves and to not expect respect from their men. Much of Hip Hop music promotes the notion that women prefer being nothing more than a physical play toy. Unfortunately, more and more women are embracing these same philosophies, believing that being sexually loose is what makes women truly "powerful".
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| Much of the music we see performed in rap music, is not just a style of music. It is a culture born of poor, inner-city life in America. It was cultivated in prisons and came back out on the street, in the form of anger, rage, and disrespect. It has evolved into the rallying cry of those unable to negotiate the requirements of the mainstream life. It now serves to glorify formerly negative characteristics, such as an unwillingness to work on a productive job, a lack of real commitment, and disrespect for any authoritative figure. Hardcore rap, orthodoxy implies that young people who emulate mainstream attitudes, such working, getting an education, being committed in marriage and family (not gang family) are exhibiting weakness. Some of the greatest victims of all this hype, are women and children. Jeffrey Hicks states, "it promotes the accumulation of gaudy symbols of success and to get them fast. When young men prance around with their ostentatious "bling," they illustrate their worthiness to the opposite sex. Materialism becomes a means for winning sexual conquests. Thus women become nothing more than a sexual object who will do almost anything for a dollar. Once this mindset, sets in, the woman and commitment to her, has little value. What is important is, cultivating one's thug factor through braided hair, baggy clothing, ghetto diction and street reputation. Not to be outdone, young women (in these videos, shameless degrade themselves) thereby playing a role in perpetrating hip-hop culture as well. By rewarding young men who accumulate the bling or those who live the thug life, they imply if you want to be accepted by a woman, (forget a good job, a good education, and God is definitely out) thugishness is the way to go, Thus even some women help maintain the appeal of this destructive lifestyle. Considering this, is there is any wonder why a low view of the worth of women and crime has such a foothold in the lives of many young men. Talented young men who should be bright enough to realize the importance of respecting both God and women and preparing themselves for the future too often can be demoralized and browbeaten into hip-hop conformity. Another form of rap critique comes under the form of "keepin it real". In other words, many of the lyrics (especially those derived from West Coast rappers) are representative of a black underclass rooted in the material conditions of black urban poverty, drug-infestation and violence. As Kitwana so vividly describes: "it tells a story of a world that consists of crime, guns, drug-selling and drug-using, sexual exploitation, irresponsible parenthood, killing just to prove a point, homicide, women as inferiors and objects, gang life, 40 ounce drinking as routine, and extreme materialism." "Keeping it real" thus describes the realities of ghetto life in America. Hardcore Rap is has at it roots, a prison mentality, thus it's lyrics are filled with hostility and disrespect, the tools needed to survive while incarcerated. Hardcore rap cares little about family and knows nothing of the rewards of committed parenting. You don't parent in prison; your role in prison is just to carry the name "baby-daddy". In prison you often are not able to develop a committed, loving, respectful relationship with one women, through the bonds of holy matrimony. Prison culture swallowed up hip-hop culture, and spit it back out, turning party music into a celebration of violence, hostility, disrespect and drug-dealing. Hip hop -- disguised in low-hanging platinum chains, 24-inch rims, platinum grills and crooked sideways caps, cripples many young people. It also infects the minds of young people such a a way that the prison mindset becomes so powerful, that not even NFL and NBA dollars seem to be able to shake it off. |
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